The Bernie Mac Show

Bernie feels that Jordan is ready to walk home from school by himself, but his walk home days are over after Jordan and his friends pick on a crabby neighbor. Vanessa has a wardrobe malfunction while swimming.

Bernie hires a personal assistant. WWE World Heavyweight Champion Triple H becomes the victim of Jordan's prank phone calls.

Bryana's birthday party results in a lawsuit after she bounces high in the moon house and accidentally sending the girl flying. When Bernie hears about this, he tries to find a way to prevent the lawsuit from happening.

Vanessa's new boyfriend is 18 years old, and has a child by a former girlfriend; Bernie confronts Vanessa about her new boyfriend and gets under her skin about it; Bernie reveals to Wanda that he thinks Vanessa is having sex.

Jordan wants to be more popular in school, so Bernie teaches him to gamble, but the trick soon backfires. Wanda's birthday is coming up, and Bernie searches for a rare cognac-colored diamond.

Bernie's sister announces that she and her fiance, Monroe (Cedric Yarbrough) are eloping to Las Vegas. Wanda offers to have the wedding at the Mac house.

Bernie gives Vanessa driving lessons, but he goes overboard while teaching Vanessa. Out of nowhere, he gets his truck towed away and he also gets glasses.

Bernie decides that 8-year-old Bryana is too old to be riding her bike with training wheels. She crashes, and a guilty Bernie volunteers to take her class to the museum. Jordan steals an old cast from the hospital and wears it at school to get out of gym class.

Bernie is thankful that Vanessa is doing well in school due to the support of her teacher, Mr. Diggs. But when Mr. Diggs' influence turns her into a vegetarian, a jealous Bernie puts his foot down. Meanwhile, Jordan makes Bryana dread her first year sitting at the kids' table at Thanksgiving.

Bernie and Wanda struggle with how to discipline Bryana when she begins to change from their adorable baby girl into a bratty little bully. They consult a child therapist to determine what is making her suddenly throw tantrums, become a bully at school and fight with her siblings at home. Meanwhile, Bernie buys Bryana a guinea pig but it's Wanda who ends up taking care of the pet and eventually bonding with it

Bernie's agent Jerry Best takes Jordan to his office on national "Take Your Child to Work Day," and Jordan lands a commercial for the designer knock-offs store, "Magic Malvert's." But when they threaten to fire Jordan, Bernie steps in and is forced to do the commercial. Bernie goes before the American Idol judges in his confessional and they critique his performance in the commercial.

Psychologist Dr. Phil makes a house call in Bernie's confessional. He counsels Bernie on how to deal with an angry Wanda, who feels left out after Bernie and his buddies bring a woman, Lynette, into their group. Meanwhile, the kids find where Bernie hides all of their dangerous toys and end up almost killing each other to keep the secret.

The family heads to San Diego for a nice relaxing family vacation. But it's not the kids who have a problem relaxing, it's Bernie. He jumps on the last flight to Las Vegas to meet the boys for some gambling and debauchery. While in Vegas he meets up with boxer Sugar Shane Mosley, but it's Wanda who throws the punches.

Bernie discovers that Jordan has taken his framed Redd Foxx ticket stub for the school time capsule when he is asked to include something that connects him to his past and doesn't have anything of his own. Bernie tells Jordan the hard facts about his past – how his father left them and that when life deals a rough hand one has to suck it up. But the hard facts harden Jordan and Bernie's afraid he's gone too far, so he decides to rewrite history a bit and make Jordan believe that his father left him a keepsake from when he was a sergeant in the Army. When Vanessa hears about Bernie's lies, she is infuriated but eventually agrees it is important that Jordan think well of their father. She gives Jordan the only picture she has of her father so that he can have a real connection to his past.

Jordan enters the school spelling contest. Bernie gives him a little advice that humor can help him overcome his fear. But his material proves that Jordan has no place in the comedy business.

Bernie and Wanda host a Mac family reunion barbecue for about 50 of Bernie's extended relatives who invade L.A. for the weekend. At first, Bernie is excited and looks forward to bonding with his relatives and strengthening their family ties, but when his Aunt Sis starts to pester him about co-hosting a cooking show with her on the Food Network, cousin Lou starts to harass him, and his older brother Carl questions the way he and Wanda are raising the children, Bernie starts to question why he agreed to host the reunion in the first place. Meanwhile, Vanessa and Shonte, a distant cousin by marriage, flirt with each other until Bernie informs them that they are more closely related than they thought.

When Vanessa brings home her first boyfriend, Reggie, Bernie gets to work on scaring the guy off but quickly realizes that Reggie is a good influence on Jordan and could lead him away from bug collecting and into sports and girls. Bernie decides he can take advantage of the situation and let Vanessa think she has a boyfriend while also giving Jordan a role model. When this prevents Vanessa and Reggie from spending any alone-time together, Vanessa decides to break up until Bernie uses reverse psychology on her to get them back together. Meanwhile, Wanda decides to clear space in her closet and give some shoes to the Salvation Army, but letting go is harder than she thought it would be.

When Bernie lands the dramatic lead role of a stroke afflicted former track star, he has a hard time convincing everyone he has the chops to be a serious dramatic actor and reaches out to Angela Bassett for acting advice. Since Bernie is working and cannot care for the kids after school, Wanda must put the younger kids into daycare at her work. Upset at being stuck with a bunch of babies, Jordan leads a child rebellion where the kids escape daycare and wreak havoc on the office. Meanwhile, Vanessa pretends to be poor, so that Teri, a girl at school, will like her. But the plan backfires when Teri finds out that Vanessa is lying and that she is really Bernie Mac's niece.

When a litigious neighbor asks Bernie to tear down the treehouse he built for Jordan, it leads to an all-night standoff. Meanwhile, a relentless Bryanna tries to put a bumper sticker that represents her good grades in school on Wanda's car, but Wanda tries different ways to put the sticker anywhere but on her car.

Bernie finds out Jordan has never had a birthday party. He can't believe his mom never gave him one. He decides to give Jordan a very special 10th birthday. Jordan gets excited and as he hands out the invitations at school, finds out another boy, Billy, is having a birthday party on the same day. Since Billy's birthday theme was more interesting, the kids tell Jordan they will not be going to his party. Bernie calls Billy's dad to try and work something out but Billy's dad is not very cooperative. Bernie hires a party planner and they decide to have an alien birthday party with a surprise at the end. The kids really want to know what the surprise is, so they plan on going to Jordan's party. Billy's dad calls Bernie to talk about this but Bryanna answers the phone. Upset because Jordan was getting a better party then she did, she tells Billy's dad the surprise is an alien. Billy's dad tells all of the kids and on the day of Jordan's party, no one shows up. Bernie and Billy's dad fight b

Bernie's sister, Benita, comes to visit, and all havoc starts. She first tells Bryana that she cannot play Snow White in the school play because she is black. She also buys a cell phone for Vanessa, that Bernie did not allow. Meanwhile, Jordan is obsessed with Benita when she walks around the house in her robe.

Bernie Mac gets a maid for himself only but the kids use the maid behind his back.

Bernie uses principles of chess to check the kids' desires, but Jordan's no pawn as he moves to achieve his goal: a paintball gun!

After taking the kids to the movies, Las Vegas-bound Bernie is further delayed by scenes that grow out of what they saw there, but weren't supposed to see.

Jordan plans to impress one of Vanessa's friends with magic.

Bernie and Jordan square off in a battle not quite of biblical proportions, but certainly of biblical content, as the youngster craftily uses the Good Book for manipulation when he believes he's being unduly punished. After a priest at school misinterprets Jordan's innocent questions about religion, he warns Bernie, who sentences the boy to intensive Bible study. But that backfires when Jordan cons younger sister Bryanna into being the standard-bearer for a crusade against sin—keeping his own hands clean when Bryanna dumps Bernie's liquor; rips up his celebrity photos (to combat idolatry); and tells on Wanda when she fibs.

Bernie enlists Wanda to join him in a ""united front"" to be tougher on the kids, but she doesn't like getting the same cold shoulder they give him.

Vanessa is slow to invite Bernie to a father-daughter dance, but quick to treat him like a stranger once there.

Bernie is sick of the kids tearing up the house, so he decides to make them clean up everything they've ruined. The kids go along with the plan until they realize Bernie isn't paying them extra for their labor. The kids decide to go on strike. When the house turns into a sty, Bernie hires scabs (neighborhood kids) to do the work.

When Bryana loses her doll after a day at the beach, Bernie begins a midnight odyssey to retrieve it. After a grueling search, Bernie finds the doll, but realizes he must wean Bryana from it. When reasoning with her fails, Bernie decides to take more drastic action.

Bernie takes the family on a tour of his old stomping grounds. Vanessa attempts to find her mother.

When Kelly's girlfriend throws him out, Bernie lets him stay at the house.

Bernie is concerned that the kids are exposed to mature subjects.

Impressed by the behavior and talents of another family's kids, Bernie cracks down on his own with a program of constant studying.

Bernie becomes concerned when he begins to see the classic signs that old age is catching up with him. He's forgetful, has aches and pains, and is finding gray hairs in, uh, unwanted places. When a panic attack sends Bernie to the Emergency Room after an argument with the kids, he decides to not let the kids send him to an early grave. He fights back and begins trying to act young again. He blasts his music and nags his friends for not staying up all night to play poker with him. Bernie only makes matters worse however when all his ""young"" activities take their toll on his mind and body. When Bryana asks Bernie to play in her Father-Daughter Basketball tournament at school, he complains, saying that he is just too old to play. When he gets to the game though, he realizes that he should be playing and joins in. Although he gets hurt playing, Bernie realizes that being old doesn't mean stopping your life.

Jordan sets his sights on joining Vanessa and Bryana on the Bernie Mac Hall of Fame awards shelf. He decides to join his school's football team after hearing that everyone on the squad gets a trophy just for participating. Bernie is thrilled that Jordan is playing football—until he sees his playing skills.

Wanda spends time with the kids and considers having a child with Bernie.

With the kids officially under Bernie's control, it's come time to find them schooling. He enrolls Bryana in a prestigious preschool, Jordan in Catholic school and Vanessa in public junior high. On the first day however, everything that can go wrong, does. With Wanda at work, Bernie is forced to figure everything out for himself. While trying to braid Bryana's hair, he gets hair grease all over his favorite shirt. Jordan fakes being sick and actually forces himself to puke on Bernie's second favorite shirt. Vanessa barricades herself in the bathroom, having ""the worst hair day ever!"" Bernie being Bernie fortunately finds away around all the problems. He fixes Bryana's hair, he foils Jordan's fake illness and he boosts Vanessa's confidence. Not bad for a day's work. If only he didn't ruin his favorite shirts in the process.

Bernie realizes that the kids are here to stay, so he begins treating them differently. Wanda complains that Bernie is treating the kids like roomates and holds off sex from him until he realizes the kids are truly part of their family.

When Wanda plans a play date for a group of kids, Bernie ends up winning over the moms for the afternoon and becoming defensive about his masculinity.

Bernie's desperate to get away to Vegas with his frineds, but Bryana's birthday and the germ infested children that it causes make it a difficulty.