Keep It in the Family

When an unidentified flying object is spotted over Hampstead Heath, Dudley becomes obsessed with UFOs and the idea of photographing one from his bedroom window. When he disturbs daughter Jacqui's front porch romancing with her boyfriend Peter, she borrows her sister's old luminous Frisbee to play a prank on him, throwing it past his window; taking it for a UFO, he clicks his shutter. Susan, meanwhile, dons a devil costume as she practices her role as assistant to her stunt man boyfriend Vincent, alias Vince Vampire. The next day Dudley is hosing down the car when Jacqui and Vincent exit the house in costume and ride away on Vincent's motorcycle, and hoses his leg by accident. Duncan arrives with some good news; an American editor and his wife are coming to see him, and Mr. Millington is willing to inject some money into The Wowser if they feature one of his cartoon strips, which he wants Dudley to draw - and it could mean some extra money for him. The Americans are arriving on Friday,

Dudley and Muriel are about to depart for a two week holiday in Portugal, the former insisting on taking a garish shirt and trousers along with him. Dudley then comes across a holiday snap of Susan sunbathing topless in Monte Gordo, and is disturbed by the fact that he can't see anything wrong with it. When Jacqui jokingly comments that she finds it filthy and that her father should be hopping mad, Dudley risks the adverse effects of bromide by tearing the photograph to shreds and eating it! Meanwhile, Susan decides to have fun with some 'This poster degrades women' stickers given to her by butch friend Jenny Mason, and buys a 'glamour' poster to practice on. Duncan - fancying a brief taste of family life - offers to put Dudley's mind at rest by moving into the Rush house whilst he and Muriel are away in order to keep an eye on their daughters and expand their minds with the theatre and ballet. Jacqui and Susan, however, have made their own arrangements to travel up to Manchester for a

Duncan has acquired a new housekeeper in the attractive Mrs. Morgan; a marvelous cook who unfortunately can't keep her hands off him. His bragging of her culinary skills results in Dudley dropping a few subtle hints [backed up by a jab from a knife and fork] that he should invite himself and Muriel round for a meal. Duncan reluctantly concedes - insisting on dinner jackets being worn in a last attempt to put them off - and Dudley starves himself all day in order to enjoy the full benefit of this most rare occurrence. Meanwhile, the sports club at Jacqui's firm is holding a Tramps and Tarts fancy dress party, and she and Susan are all set to be dropped off on the way: although Dudley doesn't approve of their outfits. Mrs. Morgan leaves dinner in the oven for Duncan and his guests before heading off to Eastbourne to spend the weekend with her sister. Dudley, for his part, is bringing a bottle of nonspecific burgundy; a £1 unlabeled item salvaged from the flooded cellar of a little wine m

Dudley awakes in an amorous mood, but Muriel is more interested in breakfast in bed. Jacqui, meanwhile, prepares a face-pack, whilst her father contemplates redecorating the bedroom. Muriel fears her husband suffers from delusions of competence; the last time he didn't bother wallpapering behind the wardrobe, and he left a gas pipe sticking out of the wall. She suggests getting a professional in; somebody who won't hang the paper upside-down. Jacqui's artist boyfriend Andrew is coming to dinner at the ground floor flat, and she feels he might pluck up the courage to make a proposal of marriage; she's been putting off introducing him to her father, though. Muriel telephones a Mr. Wilkins, who arranges to call round that afternoon to provide an estimate. Duncan telephones Dudley and announces his intention of coming round to the Rush house about four o'clock to collect a page of artwork; and partake of tea and cake. Andrew arrives to speak to Jacqui, but as she is unable to remove her fa

With Muriel, Dudley indulges his latest interest - CB Radio - utilizing his Lone Star Ranger walkie-talkie set; Muriel fails to ""kick it back"", however. Meanwhile, their daughter Jacqui is oft times being dined by a ""rather dishy"", quite mature gentleman named Michael, whom her father fears could be a married man with heightened sexual feelings, trying to recapture his lost youth by lusting after young bits of skirt. Jacqui protests that she's old enough to look after herself; and in any case, they're partly business dinners. Michael wants her to go and work for him as his secretary. ""I like him"", she tells over-protective daddy. ""Now I appreciate your concern, but I'm not a baby. It's my business, not yours"". Duncan pays a call regarding a bank loan he wants to obtain in order to buy a little cottage at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllandysiliogogogoch in Wales, wishing to eventually return to the land of his fathers; and Dudley is the only householder he knows who will stand

As per usual, Dudley is late with his page of drawings, so when Duncan telephones to complain Muriel advises him to call round about four o'clock that afternoon to collect it, the lure of her home-made iced buns providing an additional incentive. Meanwhile, Duncan is still the target of the amorous inclinations of spinster telephonist Virginia Dryford, who at present is seeking her own personal Superman. Whilst Dudley ineffectually tries to procure a little ""rumpety-rumpety"" from his wife, their daughter Susan has been introduced to insurance salesmanship by her boyfriend David, who has promised her a commission on any policies she sells, and practices her techniques on her sister Jacqui and her father. Duncan arrives at the house as arranged, and is annoyed to find the page still isn't finished; Dudley vows to deliver it to his office the following afternoon. Duncan's housekeeper has left him to marry the milkman following a wild affair, and his efforts to look after himself aren't en

Dudley's latest mania, for jogging, takes him as far as the front door. Meanwhile, Jacqui's boyfriend Leslie is coming to dinner at the flat around 7 p.m., and she doesn't want Susan running on the spot and jiggling her boobs at him. Her sister promises to be out before he arrives, having been invited to an all-night party. So their father won't interfere, Susan makes a recording on her cassette tape-recorder to give the impression that she is acting as a chaperon for Jacqui. Duncan invites himself round for tea and cake, and Dudley tries to trick him with a rubber chocolate eclair. He then suggests Leslie isn't quite as masculine as he should be, and Jacqui vows to find out for herself and let her father know in the morning.

Dudley decides to give up smoking, and begins to suffer withdrawl symptoms after two minutes. The girls' pregnant friend Ann and her door-to-door salesman husband Freddy pay a call; the latter has taken Susan on as an apprentice, and they are set to descend on the Hampstead Garden suburbs with their product - The Little Wonder Household Implement. The lease on Ann and Freddy's flat is up and they can't move into their new house until Monday, so Ann prepares to waddle down to a hotel to book a room for the weekend. Jacqui suggests they stay at the flat instead, she and Susan sharing one bed whilst their friends sleep in the other. Dudley jumps to the wrong conclusion and assumes a boyfriend of Susan's has stayed the night.

Dudley invents a new board game, Heart Attack, which he thinks will be a hit with vegetarians. He himself claims to have seen the light, having been convinced by Mr. Adams, the greengrocer. Whilst Muriel tucks into a cholesterol-rich steak followed by treacle pudding with double cream, her husband struggles with organically grown alfalfa sprouts, goats cheese on stone-ground whole bran biscuits and prunes with a sunflower seed as a treat. Meanwhile, Susan is having problems ejecting a troublesome boyfriend, Blackie [so called because he has a black belt in karate], from the ground floor flat. She enlists the help of her father, but Dudley gets rid of Jacqui's Negro boyfriend, James, instead. It then transpires that Blackie could be Dudley's natural son by an old flame, Betty Corkindale.

Dudley is in bed with a broken bone in the ankle following an abortive attempt at disco dancing on roller-skates. It could have been his neck, if he hadn't landed on the fat Miss Bunting. Meanwhile, Susan is job hunting, and her father finds one for her in the local newspaper for a dentist's girl Friday. He writes the telephone number down on a piece of paper, but Susan inadvertently rings Duncan's number which is written on the other side, causing his secretary, Marlene, to resign. Dudley takes a stab at 'spot the ball', and receives a bank statement which shows £75,000 in his and Muriel's joint account.

Whilst Susan pigs out on food and frets about premarital sex, Muriel arranges to travel to Bournemouth by train for the weekend to celebrate her sister Sarah's birthday. An old divorced friend of Dudley's, insurance salesman Dick Mitchell, telephones to say he has come down from Birmingham for a few days, and arranges for them to get together for dinner that evening at The White Cockatoo in town, on his expense account. Dudley arrives at the fashionable restaurant to discover that Dick has booked the company of two attractive escort service girls, Mimi and Barbara, who transpire to be big fans of Barney the Bionic Bulldog. Muriel is about to leave for the station when her sister telephones to say one of her children has developed mumps; since Muriel has never had the infectious virus, she postpones her visit and plays a game of Monopoly with Susan and Jacqui before retiring to bed with a Harold Robbins' novel. Dick, meanwhile, insists on taking Mimi and Barbara back to Dudley's place f

The ""ever-present pooh bird of fate"" seems to be permanently circling the Rush household, dumping on them from a great height. The car requires open-bonnet surgery to the tune of £80, Muriel is fined £6 for going five miles over a thirty miles per hour speed limit and Dudley dismantles the washing-machine to discover why it isn't working. On top of this, the television set, refrigerator, radio and iron start playing up. Meanwhile, daughter Susan wants to get rid of her boring boyfriend, Sid Foster. The family's electrical problems seem to be solved when it is revealed that Sid is an engineer, and a deal is struck; Dudley will give Sid advice on seduction, whilst he effects the necessary repairs.

The girls move into their flat, and Dudley helps them get an old black and white television set down from the loft, picking up a glove puppet and a guitar in the process; the latter reminds him of his youth, when he played skiffle, and he attempts to rope Jacqui and Susan into a group. Meanwhile, Dudley's Welsh editor, Duncan Thomas, arrives at the house to find out why he is a fortnight behind with his artwork for Barney the Bionic Bulldog, and gets soaked during an attempt by the Rushes' to clear a supposed airlock in the cold water pipe. He blows his top and fires Dudley.