I had forgotten why I've struggled with Garin Nugroho's directorial style, but Kucumbu Tubuh Indahku (Memories of My Body), despite its noble thematic ambitions, unfortunately reminds me why.

The film's exploration of important LGBTQ themes is commendable, yet it's overshadowed by Garin's unfortunate signature approach, which often feels more like an exercise in a burst of spectacle than a cohesive narrative. His tendency to intersperse the story with what can only be described as theatrical flourishes detracts from the film's potential, pulling the viewer out of the narrative rather than immersing them deeper into it.

At its core, Kucumbu Tubuh Indahku feels like a theatrical production awkwardly translated to the widescreen format.

Unlike films like Penyalin Cahaya (Photocopier, 2021), which managed to adapt theatrical elements to the cinematic medium, Garin’s film seems content to remain rooted in the stage. The film's sequences are structured more like a series of disconnected theatrical vignettes than a flowing cinematic experience: Juno stands center stage, the spotlight is on him, the crowd gathers and then disperses, and the cycle repeats. The characters often feel like mere props, speaking in an overly dramatized manner, especially when delivering lines in Indonesian and not Javanese—the latter somehow flows more naturally.

Much of the narrative relies on telling rather than showing, such as when a pivotal off-screen event between Juno and a regent is relayed to the audience through dialogue rather than depiction. This lack of narrative flow and logic could have been forgivable if it had been executed with the self-aware flair of a film like Fargo (1996), but here it feels unintentional, unaware, and disorienting.

The film is purportedly set against the backdrop of Indonesia’s violent sociopolitical landscape, but due to its fragmented structure, it’s difficult to grasp the specific aspect of the turmoil that Juno experiences throughout his life—not to mention the overtly tacky 1965 Massacre mention. Although the story spans several decades, the rural setting of Cilacap appears untouched by time—no changes in infrastructure, no noticeable shifts in the environment—rendering the sociopolitical context vague and the passage of time almost irrelevant, except from the different actors playing Juno.

The film's musical direction is another point of contention. Music cues are so overtly manipulative that they feel more like commands—telling the audience when to feel sad, when to laugh, when to be excited—rather than serving as an atmospheric part of the film. This, combined with a cinematographic style that overly relies on shaky close-ups, particularly during moments of stillness, results in a visual experience that is more frustrating than evocative. Unlike films such as Prenjak (2016), which similarly employs intense close-ups, Kucumbu Tubuh Indahku fails to find the balance.

That being said, it would be remiss not to acknowledge the film's thematic exploration of sensations and embodiment, which is where it shines, albeit briefly. The film poetically contrasts the sharp pain of needles: the severe punishment in Juno's childhood in his discovery of his body; the emotional painful pleasures he experiences during his first homoerotic encounter; and his yearning of those raw emotions later in his life. These moments are poignant and powerful, particularly when juxtaposed with Juno's quiet acceptance of life's hardships and his expression of repressed emotions through dance. The older narrator Juno's explosive dance moves, coupled with his bitter reflection on his "beautiful" yet painful childhood, provide a glimpse into the film's potential had it not been weighed down by its theatrical indulgences.

In the end, the film’s strongest moments—those that truly resonate—are unfortunately buried beneath an overly theatrical presentation that would have been better suited to a live stage performance. If Garin had reserved these theatrical elements for the film's most pivotal scenes, rather than spreading them throughout, Kucumbu Tubuh Indahku might have been a more cohesive and impactful cinematic experience. As it stands, it feels like a disjointed, exhausting journey through a series of abstract ideas that never quite come together.