Dad raised us on what he lovingly called "Pulp Trash Novels" and that carried over to adult life where they are proudly displayed along side academic books. Actually they take the top shelf.

So, walking into this I was scared and unfortunately I had every right to be.

Now I am fine with artistic licenses, I wasn't expecting it to be exactly like any of the books.

But I was expecting it to at least follow the source material a little, something more than just the names. In short, I was expecting a John Carter movie in more than just name only.

And, frankly, this didn't even feel like a movie based on pulp adventure novels, which for me was a key point, it could take all the liberties it wanted so long as it still played out like a pulp adventure novel. Unfortunately, it fell short on this.

And, to make it even worse, it was boring.

If you like the source material, if you like adventure for really the sake of adventure and escapism, then stay away, stay far, far away.